What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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