Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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