This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
