Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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