The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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