He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
