My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
