My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
