I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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