I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
