I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
