Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
