Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
