Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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