I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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