But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
