Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We got so high we made milksteak
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
