like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
