Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
