Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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