I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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