can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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