I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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