it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mom said you looked used
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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