Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
