At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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