:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
