I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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