At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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