Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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