My sheets look like a crime scene.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
