So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
