I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There r osticjed everywhere
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize