That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
