Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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