Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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