You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
