i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
