Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
