You're so nebulous sometimes
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
