I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize