What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
