Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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