He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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