So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
