I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
