I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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