Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
