she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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