How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
