I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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