whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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