my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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