somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
