I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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