There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
