WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize