my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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