very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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