grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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