I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
