A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
