I hate your face
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
