so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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