I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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